Time for the next chapter in my life

Wow!!!! What a week!  Just 5 days ago, how was I to know that my world would change.  Fortunately it is for the better.  Hopefully in the next 5 days, I'll be all squared away with my new firm.  But, even though it was a shock to be fired (first in my 46 years), it will hopefully be the best thing that ever happened to me. 

If I hadn't been fired that day, I wouldn't have been home in time to reply to a neighborhood email seeking a home for a abandoned puppy.  Elly could not have been a more perfect fit for our family (and our other dog, Midnight, who has been mourning the death of our beloved dog, Ally).  Thank goodness Elly was not perfect for her former family.  You've got to celebrate non perfectionism!

While I am in between firms, I can actually talk about being a financial advisor.  It is the best and most fulfilling job I've ever had.  I know that I have helped people retire, send kids to college, buy a first (or second, or 22nd) home, helped widows deal with the aftermath of the expected and unexpected deaths of their loved ones, and helped clients (especially women) become more confident to understand their finances.

I am disappointed in my former employer and there is NO reason to celebrate their lack of perfection.  I'm not disappointed in my firing (truly a blessing in disguise), but what I had to put up with for almost 5 years.  Even though I am a lawyer, I don't believe the courtroom is the best place to settle all disputes.  But, there are times when it is and I look forward to being a part of this case:  http://www.bofagenderlawsuit.com/   At least they weren't physically attacked by a co-worker!

I served in the Navy, was involved in the Tailhook trials (as a defense attorney and finally as a witness in the claims for illegal command influence -- it's in the Tailhook book), practiced law with a firm that was mostly men (and where I was required to wear a skirt!), but I never felt that being a woman was ever an issue in what I could do professionally until I came to Merrill.  

I'm also disappointed that were so many trainees hired who never graduated for the training program in my office.  Although there were many minorities hired, only one woman graduated from the program while all but one white male did.  I think that one woman would have graduated based on her own merit, but it didn't hurt that she was engaged to another successful advisor and that she had worked as an assistant at Merrill for several years.

I was hired at Smith Barney in 1998 right after the settlement of the infamous "Boom Boom Room" lawsuit.  As part of that settlement, Smith Barney had to hire more women as advisors.  The problem with the arrangement was that managers were rewarded for hiring, but not for seeing that women graduated.  My training class had many women who were there just because they lacked a Y chromosone. I was so fortunate to have the most wonderful manager who didn't care that I was a woman.  He wanted me to succeed just as he wanted all his advisors to succeed -- which we all did.  There were a few exception to the rule, but by and large, I never felt it mattered.  When another manager said a stupid thing to me when I was pregnant (expressing his concern if I died during childbirth!), the higher ups stepped in immediately and fixed the situation.  They apologized and we moved forward.  That manager was a bad manager and replaced.  I was just the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back.

But Merrill needs to get its act together and realize that there is a problem with the way female F.A.'s are treated.  Those things in the lawsuit happened to me as well.  But that was nothing compared to what another F.A. did  to me.  I will forever have arthritis in my big toe and a  scar on my foot from the surgery I had to remove the neuroma which developed after that  FA slammed a door on my foot.  I lost all faith in Merrill when H.R. said basically that I caused the other F.A. to attack me.  Yep, that's what happened to me.  

On behalf of my clients, I tried everyday to do my best for them.  I was working in the most hostile environment you could imagine.  This was one time when "nonperfectionism" could not  and should not be celebrated.  I couldn't leave without serious financial consequences.  The way it ended was an immense blessing to me.  Not perfect -- but just right.

Now, I get back to why I love being an advisor -- working with my clients to ensure that their future (and mine) are bright.  As the mother of two bright and wonderful daughters, I really do hope that they will never had to deal with stupid and ridiculous discrimination.

Do you recall seeing party identifications behind the names of the signers of the Declaration of Independence?

Know why?  Political parties didn't exist until the Federalist party (the first American political party) came about AFTER George Washington was elected president.  Who were the Federarlists' opponents?  The Democratic-Republican party founded by Jefferson & Madison.  This party became what we know today as the Republican party.  The Dems split off and took that name.  Its first leaders were Andrew Jackson and Martin Van Buren.  Every now and then, I get to use my political science degree!  


Why do I go on?  Well, these men were first and foremost Americans and fought for freedom without regard to political labels.  When you read history reports on Jefferson, do you see a (R) behind his name?  


So would someone please ask Congress to Celebrate Non Perfectionism????  This time, don't worry about labels, figure out a solution.  It won't be perfect and many will be upset, but sometimes you have to let Non Perfectionism win.  


In case you didn't know it, I am a proud Republican.  To date, I have never voted for a Democrat, well, if they listed their political party on their ballot. I did vote for Paul Fraim for Mayor and Andy Protogyrou for City Council, but they didn't have party labels.


Over the years, I have grown more conservative fiscally, but more liberal on social issues.  If you don't want Government to interfere, you can't legislate morality.   My first job out of UNC was working as a Staff Assistant for the U.S. Senate Agriculture Committee.  The chairman, and thus my first boss, was Jesse Helms.  I worked there from May until November 1986 when I knew I would lose my job because the Democrats would take over control of the Senate.  So, I before I left, I took the requisite photo with Jesse:

I always respected Senator Helms because you knew were he stood.  But he also understood that in order for laws to be passed, he had to work with Democrats.  Look at how many bills he sponsored that became laws.  That would have never happened if he just cared about only working with Republicans.  He was concerned about his constituents.  If he was still alive and still on Capitol Hill, he wouldn't give the ever present 24 hour news channel networks the time of day. He wouldn't care what a pundit thought.  


Somehow, I wound up marrying a Democrat.  The proud son of a liberal Jewish NY city family.  We've learned to not talk much about politics because neither one of us wins.  But, I don't walk around with an (R) behind my name, nor does he wear the (D) when we do the things we have to do -- go to work, raise our children, pay our bills, contribute to society.   Can Congress just do their job and leave the labels aside?  Would we have had a Declaration of Independence if we worried about what party was in charge?  Be statesmen and stateswomen, first and foremost.  Let's stop this from happening:

O.K. I won't be political for a while more!  Meniere's is better today.  After watching some of Rupert Murdoch's questioning by British Members of Parliament, maybe our politicians wouldn't sound so bad if they all spoke with British accents!

First Blog -- shooting for a B+

A very wise girlfriend recently said to me that she was shooting for a grade of B or B+ in all areas in her life.  If you're getting an A in part of your life, that means something else is being neglected.

We were meeting to plan for the coming Girl Scout year. This will be my seventh year serving as a leader.  Last year was my first leading two troops!   I have 2 daughters who were in 6th & (Madison) and 3rd (Julia) grades this past school year. I have always led Madison's troop. This year, after promises to both, I led both troops.  Needless to say, I didn't earn an a B+ as leader for either troop!  O.K., maybe a B for the Brownies, but a C for Cadettes.  Those are grades I'd give myself --  I think my daughters would give me an A!

The point of this blog is to "Celebrate Non Perfectionism!"  I can't be Martha Stewart and neither can you!  But look at Martha -- yes, she gets an A in business, success, etc.  But an F in ethics (remember that little prison sentence) and relationships (her husband left her for a trusted assistant).  But, I believe, Martha just wanted those A's and didn't care about flunking a couple of subjects in order to earn those A's.

I have become more and more comfortable in my "Non Perfectionism."  O.K. I do wish that there weren't as many dust bunnies under our bed as there are now.  On top of all of this, I have ANOTHER health issue to handle -- my Meniere's disease in my left ear is raging right now.  I've been stuck in bed or on the couch going on 72 hours now.  Did I mention I have a career as a Financial Advisor????? Well, I can't discuss my career here.  I am glad I can sign in from home, but I can't meet in person with clients.  P.J.'s aren't exactly professional.  But I know I'm lucky -- I'd take Meniere's over cancer or other disease with life/death consequences.

My friends often say to me they don't know how I do it all -- I remind that I may do it all, but I don't do it all well.  My house is not as clean as it could be, I try to only volunteer for Girl Scouts (but still can't say no to the Children's Hospital and a couple of other organizations); I am not as a big of a producer as I could be at work. In other words, I'm shooting for B's.  In a couple of areas, I'm probably getting a C right now.  My goal is to get it all back to B's.  Let Martha have her perfect cake & eat it too!